Tuesday, July 29, 2008
A man suffering from a severe case of flatulence goes to the doctor.
Man: Doctor, I have a terrible (FARRRT!) problem. I just can't (FFFART!!)
Doctor: That is an unusual complaint. Take off your clothes and lay,
stomach down, on the couch.
The man does as he is told. The doctor examines him for a minute - the man
farting all the time this is going on.
Doctor: Aha! This should be easy to cure. Excuse me for a moment.
The doctor goes over to a closet and pulls out a long pole with a sharp
spike at one end.
Man: (FAART!) Oh my God! (fart..) What are you going to do with (FFFARTT!!)
Doctor: I need to open a window.
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she
was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken
aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith,
but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control
pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought
some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to
sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I
sleep better at night."
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked
her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring,
etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my
patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking.
Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a
prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if
*that* doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the
best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of
lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation
went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of
$5000. The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter
demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two
1 screw $ 1
Knowing how to put it in $4999
The businessman never argued.
Hope you all have a great day!
Posted by Unknown at 12:06 AM