Saturday, April 16, 2011

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY~12

Something a little different for my Six.  I pulled out another old wip, tentatively titled Sunshine After Showers...Let's see what you think of my opening chapter 1.  As always, thanks for stopping by and commenting!


Live!

Warm tears streamed down Rachel O’Dea’s face. She pumped on Seamus Jameson’s chest and tried to swallow the pain and helplessness  that formed the lump in her throat. She couldn’t even verbally call out the concise compressions to the code team anymore. It was all she could do to maintain composure and continue to assist.



Her gaze shot to the cardiac monitor reading his oxygen level, blood pressure, and heartbeat.


Come on, Seamus. I need something to work with here. Give me a sign. Beat, dammit!

For other great snippets from some absolutely awesome writers (quite a few with upcoming releases that they will dazzle you with a taste of)  go to:

http://sixsunday.blogspot.com/

Enjoy what's left of your weekend! Left you all with a little hawtness to oggle! I do love my firemen, and this one reminds me of my firefighter hero, Jett Avery in Dating 911!! *Wink*

Kathleen

20 comments:

Jessica Subject said...

A fast-paced and emotional excerpt! Great job! The picture is smokin' too.

Sarah Grimm said...

Very emotional. Great job, Kathleen. Any plans to finish it?

Cate Masters said...

Emotion-packed snippet - well done! It must be terrible, as a rescue worker, to find someone you love needing medical attention. Hope he can give her attention later!
One minor suggestion - I tripped up a bit on Seamus Jameson (read it aloud) though I love the name!

Kathleen Grieve said...

Sarah~I wrote myself into a corner and have to rethink the entire plot. I can't plot to save my life, LOL. That is why I shelved it. I still love the concept I started with, so yes. I will pull it out and overhaul it someday. Have to finish my other projects first.

Cate~The introduction of names at the opening of a manuscript is always a debate. Some put first and last names when they first introduce them, others don't. What are your thoughts on this? Since this particular patient is a personal favorite of my heroine, she has become attached to him. Happens more often than not and is extremely difficult for us as we love a family and a patient we see often. But I think that she would just think of him as "Seamus". Right?

Lisa Fox said...

Very intense. And I LOVE the fireman. Nice!

graylinfox said...

I got choked up with her. Live dammit!

Rebecca Royce said...

Oh my gosh! SO intense.

Arlene said...

Yep, very intense opening. I also love the title, Sunshine After Showers.

Lynne Murray said...

Wow, can't get more suspenseful than life and death! The pic made me smile and think of an ER nurse friend who was doing some kind of CPR training with a group of firefighters. She called them "sparky dogs" and said everyone had to be reminded to use the mouth-protecting gear.

Kathleen Grieve said...

Trust me, Lynne. In a real life code--where secretions are flying--NO ONE forgets to use the bag/valve mask for respirations! LOL

Lindsay said...

Wow. Been there. Done that. Thought that when doing compressions. You really brought the scene to life.

Jessica K said...

This brings the readers right in and makes us care enough to want to read more. Great job.

Eleri Stone said...

Wow! Way to throw us right into the action.

J.Rose Allister said...

Wow, very tense and emotional!

Liana Brooks said...

Very good. I think you should pull this WIP back out.

Hailey Edwards said...

Heartrending six. Such a horrible situation to be in.

Ella Drake said...

Great emotion in this snippet!

Layna said...

Emotional. One can't help but empathize with her. Awesome six!

Monica Enderle Pierce said...

A very intense opening and something unexpected. I like her struggle and their immediate connection. Draws you right in. Nice!

bluerose said...

wow! stormy from the start - intriguing!